User blog:One-Eyed Serpent/Never Stand Alone (ARC3) - Chapter J - Dream of a Butterfly

--[side:JULIUS]--

Even though I’m not the one going to be married, surprisingly, I’m nervous. Extremely nervous; far more than the first time I was told I was going to be a God Eater. Looking back on it, it was quite amusing. But this one is nerve-wracking. And not the fun sort either.

“Looking at you, it makes one think that you’re going to be the one married.” Romeo remarked with a grin, eyes on the mirror as he tried to fix his bowtie. When it didn’t respond to his manipulations, he sighed, gave up, and turned to me. “Seriously, you’ll just walk the lovely bride down the aisle!”

“I know, but still.” I did Romeo’s bowtie for him, since I was done with my own necktie. Those are far more complicated. “What if I stumble? Or worse yet, start crying?”

“One; you’re a God Eater; you won’t stumble unless an Aragami tripped you. And we’re in the middle of the Branch, so, yeah, no Aragami soon. Maybe at the reception, but who knows.” Romeo shrugged, before raising a second finger. “And two; why the hell would you even cry?”

I winced.

He has a good point.

“You know what, we better check on our groom. Have you seen his face?” Romeo chortled, leading the way out of the dressing room to the groom’s preparation room. “It was damn funny.”

“I’m sure.” I replied dryly. If I was extremely nervous, I pity Hiro then.

“How’s our groom doing?!” Romeo boomed in lieu of a greeting. I chuckled softly when Hiro let out a shrill squeak and jumped, looking around with frantic eyes. He spotted us and began wailing at us for ‘scaring’ him.

In our defense… We knocked twice on the door.

“Say, where’s the one-eye?” Romeo queried, looking around in hopes of spotting said ‘one-eye’. “And skinny jeans, too?”

Now that he mentioned it, Ryuuka is missing. So is Gilbert. Where are those two?

“Ryuu-san was called over by the girls to help with the gown and make-up for the bride’s maids,” Hiro sighed, trying very hard not to wring his wrists and mess up his cuff links. Instead he fiddled with the Fenrir crest pinned on his lapel, making it emit soft clinking sounds. “Gil-san went to help out for last minute fixing at the altar.”

“I see.” It was logical, now that I think about it. And a pleasant surprise. Who knew Ryuuka knew his way around beauty products (though, honestly, I don’t really want to know) and Gilbert having a good sense for interior designing? We certainly didn’t expect it until they did it.

“Oh my God, I’m scared!” Hiro suddenly crouched on the spot and began lamenting, slumping on the floor.

<p class="MsoNormal">Instant breakdown?

<p class="MsoNormal">“The heck, Hiro, get up!” Romeo took the younger by his shoulders, dragging him up onto his feet all the while withholding what seem to be uncontrollable bouts of laughter. I fail to see the amusement in this; Hiro’s nerves are perfectly understandable. “Come on, buck up, would you? You’re only getting married! Don’t you want to marry Ciel?”

<p class="MsoNormal">“It’s not that! I want to marry Ciel!” Hiro wailed, and he really looks like he’s about to cry. Poor boy. “But what if I’m not a good husband?!”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Then we’ll come over and beat the ‘not-good-husband’ out of you! It’s that simple!” No… not really. “Come on just… Just picture your dear wife all beautiful and captivating in her wedding gown. And that beautiful woman is going to be your wife in under an hour. Calm the hell down Hiro.” For further emphasis, Romeo shook Hiro vigorously.

<p class="MsoNormal">Romeo, I don’t think shaking Hiro until he contracts brain hemorrhage is advisable…

<p class="MsoNormal">I took hold of Romeo and physically moved him away from the literally shaken groom, before smoothing Hiro’s clothes to their former pristine state. “I think,” I said lightly. “That you should trust yourself and Ciel more. I have no doubt she would be more willing to be the groom if you think that you’re inadequate.”

<p class="MsoNormal">Okay, may not be the best way to phrase that but I’m pleased that got Hiro out of his illusionary despair. What is there to despair over, anyways?

<p class="MsoNormal">The door to the dressing room suddenly opened, revealing Aunt Leah in a flattering white cocktail dress. She smiled at us, lifting her left wrist to gesture at her wristwatch.

<p class="MsoNormal">“It’s time boys.”

<p class="MsoNormal">The wedding shall begin soon.

<p class="MsoNormal">--

<p class="MsoNormal">Ah, what a stifling atmosphere.

<p class="MsoNormal">Not that it was tense; it was rather the opposite, really. The air was positively lively with the happiness and excitement and all sorts of good emotions. It was a good feeling.

<p class="MsoNormal">But the pressure of not crying was the one stifling me.

<p class="MsoNormal">I took a glance at Ciel, and deliberately refocused my gaze to the front, where Hiro was waiting with an anxious and happy smile with a grinning Romeo as his Best Man.

<p class="MsoNormal">She’s supposed to be the baby of the team and yet… And yet she and Hiro are getting married.

<p class="MsoNormal">… I think there’s dust in my eyes.

<p class="MsoNormal">After (managing) to deliver Ciel to the altar without any mishaps, I went to my seat, situated between Ryuuka and Gilbert. Ryuuka had an entirely unappreciated knowing grin on his face (“Was that dust in someone’s eyes or was someone crying?”) and for a moment I was tempted to slap some submission into the idiot when the priest (self-proclaimed priest, in my opinion; I’m not entirely sure whether Acting Director Sakaki’s license is legitimate) appeared and began the ceremony.

<p class="MsoNormal">I’m not quite sure if I was imagining it, but as time wore on I could smell something coppery and wet.

<p class="MsoNormal">It was subtle at first, then as the ceremony it only gradually grew until it was unbearable and nauseating by the time the vows were being exchanged.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Can you smell that?” I murmured to Gilbert, while keeping my eyes up front. It wouldn’t do to make a scene at Hiro and Ciel’s wedding.

<p class="MsoNormal">No response.

<p class="MsoNormal">I frowned.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Gilbert-“ I looked down and froze.

<p class="MsoNormal">A severed lay on a bloody lap looking up with glassy eyes and a shocked expression and the vein in the neck keep pumping pumping 'pumping''- '''

<p class="MsoNormal">I whirled to where Ryuuka was sitting-

<p class="MsoNormal">Only to find a right arm and a leg cut off from the knee hacked carelessly and still bleeding  bleeding 'bleeding''- '''

<p class="MsoNormal">I screamed.

<p class="MsoNormal">--

<p class="MsoNormal">I jolted away, hearing a ripping noise that came from something nearby as I thrashed where I lay. I jerked to the side, and hissed when I landed on something decidedly not soft.

<p class="MsoNormal">The jarring impact cleared my mind somewhat, and while I lay there breathing deeply; I repeatedly chanted a few in my head to keep myself intact.

<p class="MsoNormal">''Just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream''.

<p class="MsoNormal">And image flashed up, and I scrambled to my feet to get to the bathroom and dry heaved, bile making my mouth taste absolutely foul. When I was sure my empty stomach wasn’t about to empty itself even more, I moved to the sink to wash my face and also wake myself up fully.

<p class="MsoNormal">I lifted my head, and grimaced at the image presented to me.

<p class="MsoNormal">Discolored skin below my eyes, long hair sticking everywhere and anywhere reachable, and my eyes were extremely bloodshot. Had I cried in my sleep? It certainly is a possibility.

<p class="MsoNormal">I peeled a lock of damp hair from my face and stared at the length of it.

<p class="MsoNormal">It’s… been a long time.

<p class="MsoNormal">9 years too long, to be exact.

<p class="MsoNormal">But even then… I still remember everything as if it were yesterday. Succumb to nightmares as if it were yesterday.

<p class="MsoNormal">Grieve as if it were yesterday.

<p class="MsoNormal">I flinched badly when I unwillingly remembered the chopped off limbs and parts of my squad mates, the blood that was everywhere, and Heritage lying beside a headless corpse in pieces, Kyrie Eleison unharmed and hidden away in Shuuten Douji’s mouth. Or what was left of the God Arc Soldier.

<p class="MsoNormal">I leaned back against the cold linoleum, pressing more of my bare skin against the sharp temperature to remind myself I wasn’t back in that place. Remind myself I was in my bathroom.

<p class="MsoNormal">In my bathroom having my third breakdown of the week.

<p class="MsoNormal">I shook like a leaf in the wind, breathing slipping through my parted lips in a hiss as I desperately held back my tears.

<p class="MsoNormal">I can’t let myself cry; my last promise to Ryuuka was to be there for Blood (notthesamewithoutyoutwo) and being an emotional wreck wouldn’t help them one bit.

<p class="MsoNormal">“''So do me a favor and stand by them, Captain. They need you more than I''.”

<p class="MsoNormal">I choked, and stumbled over to the toilet to wretch once more.

<p class="MsoNormal">I didn’t notice anything aside from the griefgriefgrief until a hand gathered my hair and held them back as I continued throwing up, a hand on my shoulder to ground me and make sure I have something to cling to.

<p class="MsoNormal">How could I stand by them, when I myself can’t stand on my own?

<p class="MsoNormal">Like a helpless child, I cried on the cold hard floor of my bathroom, Nana gently but firmly wiping my face with a washcloth and letting me lean on her for support.

<p class="MsoNormal">“I’m sorry.” I mumbled, feeling utterly spent and numb. Her fingers wound through my long locks, twisting them around themselves as she braided them loosely. I felt her press her cheek against the crown of my head, and I clung to her just as I felt two drops of wetness landed on my scalp.

<p class="MsoNormal">“It’s okay,” Nana said, voice strained and cracking. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

<p class="MsoNormal">‘It’s okay to break. We’re here.’

<p class="MsoNormal">She was convincing herself and me, but all I did was hold her together, doing what she was doing to me. A sister I was privileged to have (butGilneverhadoneandRyuukalosthisbrutally), she was one of the remnants of my family.

<p class="MsoNormal">A broken, patchwork family; but a family nonetheless.

<p class="MsoNormal">I don’t want to lose anyone anymore.

<p class="MsoNormal">--

<p class="MsoNormal">When morning came, the only things that reminded me of what happened last night (or was it earlier) was Nana’s note telling me she’s off training her Squad, and the glass of water and painkillers for my headache.

<p class="MsoNormal">Which I unfortunately have.

<p class="MsoNormal">I gladly took the medicine, simply lying there on the bed as I let the medicine take effect. My phone rang beneath my pillow, and I fished it out, flipping it open and placing it on the pillow right next to my ear.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Visconti speaking.” I enunciated clearly.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Jules? Where are you?” I realized it was Hiro speaking, and I sat up, beginning to locate my proper clothes. Hmm, do I need my Blood Uniform or just my usual…

<p class="MsoNormal">“In my room; am I needed?” I asked, finding my pants and shucking off my pyjamas so I could wear them.

<p class="MsoNormal">Hiro made an ‘mmhm’ noise. “Director calls. I’m getting Nana from down the Hangar, actually. No need for Uniform, by the way. See you.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Same to you, Hiro.” The call ended, and I set it down as I went to get dressed.

<p class="MsoNormal">Director is calling for us, huh… It must be important. I wonder if it’s about the new Fenrir Branch? Most likely, but then again, maybe it’s simply another wide-scale mission.

<p class="MsoNormal">As soon as I was done, I locked the door behind me as I left, a hair tie clamped between my lips as I gathered my hair back into a ponytail. I should have it cut, as it’s midway down my chest at this point, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it, somehow. Maybe it’s because they used to wear their hair long…

<p class="MsoNormal">I shook off my wandering thoughts, realizing that I had entered the elevator and on my way to the Upper Floors. I sighed to myself; my lack of awareness is concerning. No matter; I should get out of this soon.

<p class="MsoNormal">If I ignored that I’ve been telling myself the same thing for 8 years now.

<p class="MsoNormal">The elevator dinged, and the doors opened to let me out onto the floor I wanted. I straightened myself and took a deep breath, holding my head up since I’m in the presence of other people, and I confidently strode to the Director’s office.

<p class="MsoNormal">I knocked twice precisely, and the door opened and I found Romeo already there, along with Ciel. I nodded to them, exchanging quiet greetings and I entered the vast room. I stopped two paces away from where FRIAR’s Director was seated. I bow formally in greeting.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Good morning, Director Claudius.”

<p class="MsoNormal">Mother smiles softly, and she gestured for me to straighten. I moved to stand between Ciel and Romeo, as by order of command I am Third and Ciel is the Vice Captain of our Unit. I saw Ciel looking at the bags beneath my eyes and I gave her a reassuring smile. While she didn’t look convinced, she didn’t pry anymore, looking at the door expectantly. I saw her right hand touch a particular object on her left hand, and I smiled to myself.

<p class="MsoNormal">Right on cue, there were four exact knocks on the door, and Romeo strode forward to open the doors. In came Hiro and Nana, and they joined us I nodded to Hiro.

<p class="MsoNormal">“Captain.”

<p class="MsoNormal">“Julius.” Hiro nodded, and his attention was diverted to Ciel. I watch Hiro smile tenderly at Ciel, leaning forward to give her a chaste kiss on the lips. The married couple twined their fingers together even as Hiro greeted our Director.

<p class="MsoNormal">We saluted in unison, Captain Hiro Kamui speaking for us. “Blood Execution Unit; reporting.”

<p class="MsoNormal">Blood ‘Execution Unit’…

<p class="MsoNormal">How the seasons have changed.

<p class="MsoNormal">--

<p class="MsoNormal">'''Ehh??? EHhhh???!?!! '''

<p class="MsoNormal">'''Eh?!?!??! '''

<p class="MsoNormal">'''Nani kore?! '''

<p class="MsoNormal">Short version; Ryuujou is on crack xD 

<p class="MsoNormal">'''Wassup suckas?!?!?!? '''