User blog:One-Eyed Serpent/Untilted GE Fic - Chapter 8 - Nan no Tame ni Ikite Iru?

''Captain gave me a grateful smile and a pat on the shoulder. “Thank you.”''

''I took a bold move and returned the gesture, but when the corners of Captain’s mouth only twitched upwards even more, I smiled myself. “That’s what squad mates are for.”''

--

We’ve only allowed ourselves a couple hours of sleep, seeing as even though we’ll be leaving for the Main Branch tomorrow at the peak of noon, there’s a lot of stuff yet to be done. There’s also apparently a secrecy undertone to the mission, since only a few (personally notified by one of the Claudius Sisters) personnel that helped us.

Ciel and Captain went down to the basement training facilities, Captain having to brush up on his Sniper skills with Ciel-san, as a back-up long-range type God Eater. Never knew Captain had been a Sniper, since I’ve only seen him you that Assault of his.

Gil-san was doing inventory with Nana, taking note everything we’ll be taking tomorrow (like Stun Grenades, Scent Concealing fluids, O-Ampules, those and some more) and making sure everything’s prepared. They’ve been down in the Vaults for a good while now, so I think they’ll be keeping true to Captain’s advice, which was ‘there is no such thing as over-prepared’. And I agree with him.

Romeo-san is was assigned as a guard in the Blood floor, to keep watch since Miss Yuno was given access to one of the spare rooms there. Dr. Rachel’s reason was logical to why she would be spending the night there; people usual pass the luxury floor when rumors of important people are in the FRIAR. The rumors of a new Blood member was already dwindling as fast as it started, seen Captain intentionally took the ‘public’ route to the training facility to ‘show her around’.

See? People have no reason to come to the Blood floor! Not that they have any access in the first place.

Well, anyways, here I am in the Deployment Docks, getting a crash course (actually, is just a refresher for me) on driving a Fenrir Jeep. This one was specifically made for important transfer jobs (so FRIAR has done this before?) so it was larger and a little different from what other models look like. Well, only on the outside. The inside was a different matter.

The inside was a lot more spacious, and revealed that underneath the metal plating outside was a thin layer of the same material as the Anti-Aragami Armor FRIAR has. The mechanic told me the Armor on the jeep was only enough to ward away small monsters, but has no effect on larger ones. And since the Armor was placed on a vehicle, the effectiveness of the wall would only last until the ‘battery’ (the guy used another term, but there was too much jargon to remember, ehehe) runs out.

I’ve been tasked with arranging the driving shifts, with Nana going first, followed by me (I do know how to drive…), Gil-san and lastly Captain in a three-hour shift, covering the 15 hours of travel time. Ciel’s priority would be lookout and Sniper, and besides, she doesn’t know how to drive. Miss Yuno would just relax, though Romeo-san would most likely talk to her. Boredom is Romeo-san’s bane, so he’ll do anything to keep it away.

“So ter sum it all up, jus’ drive this baby ‘n go fer the goal, ya hear me buddy?” I nodded enthusiastically. Well, that was the plan all along. The mechanic – I think he’s named Milton or something – grunted to himself. “Young boss ain’t here, so ya little kiddies better do the Ladies Claudius good, eh? Ain’t got no problem wit’ Blood, no siree, but yer fame goes wit’ bad rumors for some of te guys ‘ere. Jealousy and all te good stuff.”

I bit my lip, nodding. Ever since Romeo-san told me about how people disliked Captain and Ryuuka-san – and him – during their earlier days as Blood, I’ve begun noticing the same things. Though it wasn’t as numerous and as vicious from back then (Romeo-san told me), it was still a tangible thing, since some of the other God Eaters, especially the ones who have been in service for a long time already, still aren’t warming up to Blood.

I can see the reason, since Captain is the youngest ever Captain in FRIAR, and Ryuuka-san should have had a high rank too, if he doesn’t keep declining his promotions. Romeo-san is already a sergeant, Gil-san being the same as him. We haven’t received or proper ranks at the moment, but if Nana and I finally would, we’ll be the youngest Privates. Not really surprising, but I now know for a fact the life is set on ‘fast’ with Blood.

With the refresher and maintenance done with our transport for tomorrow, I left the Dock to head up to the Blood floor to rest up as much as I could without sleeping. And also keep Romeo-san company. Who knows what he’ll be up to if left bored and unchecked for a long while.

Apparently, he was watching some kind of video on a laptop, as I’ve found out as soon as I stepped off the elevator.

“Oh, hey!” Romeo-san glanced up briefly from his movie to nod at me, after which his eyes quickly returned to whatever he’s watching. “You done?” He asked.

“Yeah. Pretty sure I won’t be crashing into a tree tomorrow.” I joked. The blonde chuckled, and I plopped on the couch next to him, eyes on the screen. “What are you watching?”

“Ehh…” Romeo-san tapped the spacebar, squinting at the title which was in… Kanji. Damn, and I can’t read Kanji, despite being half-Japanese. How sad is that? “I think it’s… ‘Jin-sama no Iu Touri’? I’m not sure…”

‘Jin-sama no Iu Touri’? Oh! “Romeo-san, I think it’s ‘Kami-sama no Iu Touri’.” ‘Kami-sama no iu touri’ was the Japanese equivalent for the choosing game ‘Eenie Meenie Miney Mo’. Though I’m pretty sure ‘Kami-sama’ is limited to only two objects instead of the several allowed in ‘Eenie meenie’.

“Ah, that.” Romeo-san nodded, though his attention drifted back immediately to the video. Seeing as he’s interested, I decided to also lean back and watch. It seems to be just starting, so that means I’m lucky I’ll be watching from start to finish.

“[You… What do you live for?]” Huh… The movie seems to be very old, judging from the quality and from the looks of things. In fact, this seems to be Japan 50 years ago! Whoaa…

Though what the guy said… ‘What do you live for’… That’s quite a broad subject to ponder. Well, back then, maybe. This era, humanity’s priority seems to be ‘to survive’ or ‘or live to see the next day’ and all that, with the Aragami reducing the population to a mere below 40%.

Well, me? I live to keep my family safe. I could safely say that because they’re my-

“[Daruma-san ga~ koronda!]” What?

‘Daruma-san’? That’s another Japanese game!

Refocusing my eyes on the screen, the camera panned downwards, where a girl in a school uniform seems to be lying on the ground. Her pencil case was near her legs, the contents scattered. And there seems to be… red marbles? Why are there marbles?

The camera panned down some more and-

Holy Shit.

''Why is her head missing?! Oh my god- what the heck just happened?!''

The camera shifted to show a guy, who had looked down and gasped, nearly jerking back. A voice hissed at him to not move; if he did, he’ll die.

What the heck is Romeo-san watching?!?

“Romeo-san…”

“Hm?”

“Is this a 'Death Game' kind of movie...?”

“Yeah.”

“…” Oookay. So he doesn’t care. Fine. I’ll watch.

Minutes passed in the movie, and apparently they’re playing a bloody version of the ‘Daruma Doll’ game. Daruma-san (the Daruma doll… duh) would kill you if he catches you moving, with your blood solidifying into marbles – well, I think that’s what he did – causing you to explode, particularly your head.

Lovely.

I’m pretty sure this ‘Shun Takahata’ is the protagonist, seeing as he said ‘god, please give me back my boring life’ earlier and the camera kept panning to him. At the moment there’s only two (Shun and the eyeglasses dude who’s cool as a damned cucumber in the wrong place) left in the classroom, no inch of the linoleum floor visible due to the amount of marbles that came from their headless classmates. Damn, I have to wonder how the movie makers had that amount of marbles.

And the timer on Daruma-san’s back says less than 40 seconds!

Lovely.

“[I’ll send you flying.]”

Okay, what the hell is this guy say-

“Oh, he did fly.”

…

This is weird and crazy and brutal but why am I still watching?

The button was pressed, making Shun and Daruma-san fall off the other side of the teacher’s desk.

Well, thumbs up were exchanged, Eyeglasses Dude had his head blown off (still managed to flip the bird though, is that possible?) Daruma-san gave the hint, a girl named Ichika found Shun, and together they found out that there’s neither phone signal nor a way out of the school.

'''Lo. Ve. Ly.'''

So they found themselves at the gymnasium, where there are others wearing mouse outfits.

Ah, 'Maneki Neko' or if I remember right, 'beckoning cat'. Not really a game, but they made a game out of it.

And they became cat food. Nice. Not really.

Eh.

--

Okay, moral lesson of ‘Kami-sama no Iu Touri’; never, ever play Daruma-san, go near a Maneki Neko, play Kokeshi, lie to Shiro Kuma, talk to Matryoshka, and lastly Kami-sama no Iu Touri. Points to you if you found a hidden game in the sequence.

Though I’m just kidding. It’s bad enough that I just sat through a movie consisting of gore and a stalker-ish psychotic megalomaniac and children’s games, I don’t want to think of anything dying if I play with my little siblings.

Anyways, the last ones (not for long, though, hahahaha) standing are Shun and the pyscho Takeru Amaya, the people of Japan calling them ‘God’s Children’ (in the current era, they would be called Aragami clones, pfft). With the way the ‘Kami’ appeared at the end, I guess they played Kami-sama no Iu Touri, which would only leave one of them alive. I hope Amaya would die.

Asshole.

But all dark humor aside, the movie kinda tells me in an obscure (cause all of the Blood… wait, blood, ‘Blood’, ahaha, I punned) that you should be content with your life and life every single day as if it were your last, since there’s no telling when you would die.

‘What do you live for’, ‘those who survive are strong, and those who died are weak’ … Those are some pretty deep topics, despite it was Amaya – a psycho, I tell you! – that said it.

Applying those philosophies to the current time, it’s pretty simple. We live to fight for another chance at living, live to keep our important people safe; live to see this nightmare end…

The second was a harder one to swallow, despite its simplicity.

Mostly because my rationale tells me agrees with it, while my idealism disagrees.

‘Dog-eat-dog’ or ‘survival of the fittest’, those phrases hold the same principles, and though I know it’s true, with proofs like Captain, the other Squad Captains, Gil-san – who has five years of experience under his belt despite his youth, Ryuuka-san – who was found outside the Aragami Wall, damaged, but alive, and Romeo-san and Nana – who hold extraordinary physical capabilities belied by their unassuming looks, the two of them surpassing some of the older, bigger God Eaters.

Aragami had taken the throne of the food chain 20 years ago, but these people had faced them and survived; a process that’s almost daily. They’re strong, that’s why they get the right to live.

That’s logical part of my brain agrees to.

But the other side says ‘the weak doesn’t deserve to simply die’.

In my stay here, I’ve yet to hear a news of a God Eater dying, and I’m thankful for that. The four in my squad had heard, even see, death of a comrade, though. There’s a shadow in their eyes, and that was proof enough for me.

Did those who die died simply because they’re weak? Was it nature simply running its course? Were their deaths a part of a bleak cycle for humanity?

I don’t care for Aragami, but humans… humans were a different thing altogether. They’re my kin, the last ones from a civilization reduced to the sorry state it is in now.

Did the ones who died, died simply because they we weak? Was it nature simply running its course? Or is there something more.

I’d like to think that being weak doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to live, but simply you have more obstacles to overcome, more sufferings to go through. But then, you also have a greater potential to grow – and not just physically – and you can be sympathetic to those who’s shoes you were once in. I’ve read once the term ‘Noblesse Oblige’, or in simpler terms ‘the strong shall protect the weak’.

Now that’s a philosophy I could go with. But even then, I can’t deny the ‘strong lives, weak dies’ one. The two philosophies are contradicting, but somehow they managed to coexist in this world. I wonder how that came to be.

There are so many questions, yet no answers. The thoughts swirling in my head like a storm is making me a bit light headed, a slight throbbing growing at my temples. I was forced to go to my room to rest in silence, leaving Romeo-san with his movies, having declined to watch another with him.

As I lied down on my bed in the dark, with only the false glow coming from the ‘window’, I raised a hand before my face, noting the barely there gouges that would heal in a few hours, and the beginnings of calluses on my palm, the rough texture a sign of usage.

I pursed my lips, rubbing my fingertips together to get more of that rough feel.

I’ve been training with Captain to better my performance with the Long Sword, and if I close my eyes and imagine it well enough, I could clearly recall the feel of my God Arc’s grip in my hands, the cold of the metal, and the ridged handles for better hold. I could recall how the gun would jerk as I fired, and the way my teeth would rattle and feet dig into the ground if something hits my shield.

It’s safe to say by now I’ve been in action enough to have it ingrained into my reflexes.

I closed my hand into a fist.

Not enough though.

I don’t want to just ‘know’ how to fight. I have to mean it. Strike with the intention of cutting down the Aragami, shoot with the intention of not missing, and defend with the intention to withstand the enemy’s onslaught.

Even though I would not care of being weak or strong, I refuse to be weak. I want, no, have to be strong, for my squad, for my family, for those who are weak. I would be a person who’ll help someone get up, not a person who would drag anyone down when they fall.

“The strong lives… while the weak dies… I don’t agree with that.” I spoke aloud to myself, disturbing the quiet of the room, my voice seeming to rebound and press down on my. “Because I will survive, no matter what.”

That… is my vow.

--

‘Kami-sama no Iu Touri’ is a real movie, I think you could watch it in youtube or something. It’s a ‘Death Game’, based on a comic series of the same name, the story revolving around Shun Takahata. I personally liked it, but… eh.

I should also name this as ‘Sudden Suddenness – The Sudden Second’, seeing as the chapter didn’t come out the way I originally intended. Again.

But oh well. This is kinda filler-ish, since writer’s block happened (the horror) and I was in a thinking mood since Sunday. Due to the very same movie. I feel you Hiro.

I’m not good at rationalizing, ‘cause I’m kind of a ‘live in the moment’ kind of person, and I don’t think too deep on stuff like these, so mind that the latter half of the story might be weird because the writer doesn’t do rationalizing either xD. Oh god why. Though this has been a rather enlightening write (despite not able to properly put down the thoughts), since I’ve spent nearly twelve hours arguing with my mindset and the ‘Hiro-mindset’ (which I use when I write this fic, lol fun fact) just to write this chapter.

They say to effectively write in first-person perspective; you have to assimilate the character you’re writing as fully; meaning you have to think like them, act like them, the works. My real mindset is different from Hiro, so it’s hard, but still satisfying since none of you are complaining in how I characterize Hiro without even seeing Blood’s appearance in the 2nd Break manga (where do you guys read it???) Ahahaha.

Okay, rant over, filler chapter done, the action starts next chapter (I PROMISE) and I swear never to do any more philosophical musings to preserve my sanity.

Ja na!

P.S.: Correct me if I’m wrong, but based on how you can question Julius about Assault and Sniper Guns during the early parts of the game (below Story 10, I think, not sure though)– and judging from the extensive explanation he gave – I’m assuming he knows how to use a Sniper well enough. I coulda sworn I’ve read that Julie knows how to use other God Arc components aside from his L.Sword-Assault-Shield combo… Forgot where, though.