User blog:Baluar/Don't know what to do

You know, here's the only place I can say this.

Saying it to any person close to me would gain me nothing (if they're my age) or a few words and a pat on my back (if they're older).

I don't think I'm ready for studying a career.

"Sure", you might say. "You still have a year."

Dude, a year is nothing. I'm not scared of starting to study seriously.

' I'm batshit terrified of it. '

First and foremost, there's the fact that I've got to choose a career. Now, in an of itself it's nothing bad. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to study. It's just that... it's a choice that will have consequences for all my life, and even beyond (in case I have sons). Being faced with a choice like that is hard. Especially considering I'm really bad at making choices (I have this problem that I can never decide between any given options).

Second, there's the small problem that I have to go live alone. Not that much of a big deal, sure. I'll make do. But it's still something to be considered. Will I be truly alone? Will I have to do everything I was used my parents did till now? (I mean, sure, I have been doing some house stuff as of recently, but it's still quite a bit of stuff to do).

Or will I end up with someone else? In which case, WHO will he/she be and HOW will he/she act?

Third, there's the fact that I've got to study. "Duh", you might say (rightfully), but trust me, it's an issue. The problem is that I've never, ever had to really study for an exam. With ten minutes of reading I've had enough to pass all but the three largest tests of the last school year (and in most cases, I didn't even have to read. At all). And even with those tests, I only began to study the previous day. For tests that supposedly include all the contents of the entire school year.

Needless to say, I know I have the capacity to study like a boss. The thing is, will I manage to change my style of studying? Or will I sink?