User blog:Roinelll/The "C" Files

Summary
These Shorts will appear roughly at each Sunday, or a day close to them. Should one of the Shorts conclude a new one will be started in place, there are quite a few of them actually :V

Clothes
Lexa : C, Did you have to reveal your infection in that weird way to everyone?

C : But it felt soo good to finally have my skin breathe

Lexa : And that is why you had been labaled as an exhibitionist

C : ... Really?!

Lexa : Here, here, here and here... What can you tell me about these?

C : That you are a good photograph?

Lexa : You were going around half naked, AGAIN!!

C : It's not like there is anything to see, no?

Lexa : Do you even consider yourself human anymore?

C : I'm a female, but if there is nothing to see then what's the point?

Lexa : C... you... Just don't prance around half naked at all will you?

C : But... The clothes are annoying. You can't imagine how horrible they feel just to wear them.

Lexa : Ah right, C... you're much like an Aragami.

C : Mass of Oracle Cells, not Aragami... I don't have a core, thank you very much...

Lexa : Ah, I'm so-- ... Wait, did I struck a nerve there?

C : No, why would you? I mean it's not like ANYONE can understand what it is like ... meh forget it...

Licca : I've overheard the conversation and C, I might just have the solution for it.

C : No.

Lexa : Wait, C... She just offered for you a way out of your problem.

C : I'm not going to put THAT on.

Lexa : Put what on?

Licca : A dress for Shio, I think C would be able to wear is also.

C : Never...

Licca : Just give it a try, will you?

Lexa : Put what on?

Licca : A dress for Shio, I think C would be able to wear is also.

C : Never...

Licca : Just give it a try, will you?

Lexa : Shio? That Aragami girl?

C : Yes, and I will NOT wear that ridiculous dress.

Licca : I see... well, have fun running around naked then.

C : ...

Licca : Listen up C, even if you think it's ridiculous, just put it on for measure.

Lexa : Exactly, if it does bother you wearing it or not. We will know that way what to expect.

Licca : Then I can make something that would fit you, even you can give me the design, okay?

C : ...

C : You're just planning to have a laught at me, don't you?!

Lexa : C, You're already making yourself laughable by your habit of... prancing around half naked sometimes.

Licca : Here, try it on... P-L-E-A-S-E?

C : 300.000.000 Fc.

Lexa & Licca : Huhh?!

Lexa : C?! You're kidding, right?!

Licca : Sure, after you put it on.

C : Advance payment or you can forget it.

Licca : ... Okay, then I ask you some time to collect it.

C : Then it's 500.000.000 Fc, and it will increase by 100.000.000 every hour!

Lexa : C, admit it you're just afraid to wear it, that it would look good on you.

C : N-No! I-I'm not afraid, i-it just looks HORRIBLE!

Vision
Matthias : C, are you really blind?

C : Of course, I do not have eyes. If you do not call that blind, what would you... hmm?

Matthias : C... you're using a freaking terminal right now, even browsing it!

C : For that I need my hands duh, not my vision...

Matthias : You know exactly what I meant right there, how can you see it if you are blind?

C : I'm using these?

Matthias : Your ... Horns?! That makes even LESS sense...

C : It's the truth, I don't have a reason to lie.

Matthias : Then explain it to me, so that I can understand it.

C : I'm having a vision of my surroundings that is generated by receiving resonance with my Horns.

Matthias : ... Uhm... What?

C : They function similarly to a radar.

Matthias : So... what do your Aragami like organs resembling... your eyes do then, if they cannot see?

C : Oracle Detectors.

Matthias : As in?

C : In my vision I can pick up the faintest traces of Oracle Cells and their movements.

Matthias : So... that means?

C : I have the ability to predict my enemies moves, simple as that.

Matthias : Predict? You're seeing into the future?

C : How would predicting mean seeing into the future?!

Matthias : Just talk straight will you then?!

C : Is it my fault that you can't even remember or understand the simplest and straightforward things?

Matthias : Except you NEVER talk straight...

C : You're asking the wrong questions.

Matthias : Then what would be the 'right' question?

C : That would be 500.000 Fc.

Matthias : What?! Why?! I mean... nevermind.

C : I'm waiting.

Matthias : You know perfectly well that I do not have that much.

C : Exactly.

Matthias : That's evil... You're Evil!

C : I'm just me.

Matthias : Does your Vision have weakpoints?

C : Of course it has.

Matthias : And since you're not followin with an explanation... Are you expecting me pay up?

C : That, or if you manage to build a sentence that corresponds to it perfectly.

Matthias : Are you making fun of me?

C : I'm answering to the questions you make, without charging you. Does that sound like making fun of you?

Matthias : Okay, okay... Let me think then...

C : You have all the time in the world, though doubt you'll make a suitable request.

Matthias : I KNEW IT! You're making fun of me!

C *Scratches chin* : 2.000.000 Fc. For everything you asked me so far.

Matthias : ... I'm sorry! I can't pay that! I'm thinking, I'm thinking okay?!

C *Eerie smile* : The next time you mess up, it will be 10.000.000 Fc. So, think carefully.

Shower
Kata : C, I don't want to be rude... but, do you occasionally shower?

C : Of course I do, when I need to calm myself down.

Kata : And ... when was the last time you needed to take one?

C : 2 months, 21 days, 17 hours, 42 minutes, 18 seconds and ticking.

Kata : Then go and have one!

C : Why should I? I'm perfectly calm.

Kata : You stink... Really badly. How can you even endure it yourself?

C : Stink? What's that?

Kata : God... Did you nose get used to your horrible smell?!

C : Nose? ... Oh. I see now what is the problem here.

Kata : Then would you stop grinning and mind telling me?

C : I don't have a nose. Simple as that.

Kata : GO AND HAVE A SHOWER!

C : Bu--

Kata : No 'buts', do it!

C (~_~) : 'Kay.

Female GE #1 *Her scream echoes at the showers*

Female GE #2 : Hey, what happened?! Is everything allright?

Female GE #1 : C-c-cold...

Female GE #2 : Excuse me?

Female GE #1 : I opened the valve and got hit by THAT ice cold stream.

Female GE #2 *pokes into the still running cold shower and pulls back her arm shivering*

Female GE #1 : Just who was the idiot to pull such a prank?! I could kill the one responsible.

Female GE #2 : Actually... wasn't it your fault to just open the water and not check the temperature?

Female GE #3 : Have you heard about #1? She went to have a shower and got hit by a cold stream.

Female GE #4 : Upon measuring the water, it turned out to be around minus 30 Celsius.

Female GE #5 : I didn't even know that the showers temperature can be set so low.

Female GE #1 : I can hear you girls!

Female GE #2 : Now now #1, relax. Also, normally the lowest temperature it can be set is to 10 Celsius.

Female GE #4 : So... someone managed to set a temperature outside the normal boundary?

Female GE #1 : If I find out who did that I'm going to put the one responsible under it for a whole minute.

Female GE #3 : You're pretty bloodthirsty, aren't you?

C : What is that about the shower I set?

Female GE #1 : You... C?!

Female GE #4 : Makes sense, she has extensive knowledge over many things.

Female Ge #1 : C! That was a horrible prank! I'm going to stick you underneath it as punishment!!

C : Am I... Stinking that much?

Female GE #5 : You do not have a bad odor. Just... you made #1 really angry with that.

C : Then why do I need another shower? I already had one close to an hour.

All Female GE's : ...

Female GE #1 : An... Hour? As... in 60 minutes?

C : Well, it was exactly 3.512 Seconds, which is 58 minutes and 32 seconds.

Female GE #4 : That's not the point... You spent that long underneath the cold shower?

C : Why are you looking at me like that?

Relationship
Tina : Say, say say. Do you have someone you have really really strong feelings for?

C : What do you mean with that?

Tina : You know... Love, do you uhm... love someone?

C : Oh that... Yes, I do.

Tina : Okay... since I know you have a lot of weird quirks, can you describe me what love is?

C : When you want to be someone, do things with him that would make you feel euphoric. This stuff... no?

Tina : Soooo, who is he? How does he look? He has to have a lot of money right, right?

C : Dunno, we never met eye to eye. However he should wish that never comes to pass...

Tina : But... Wait... I think you misunderstood something...

C : I would love to kill that guy. Isn't this what you meant?

Tina : *Sigh* You and your quirks... Never cease to amaze me...

C : Okay, so then what did you have in mind then?

Tina : Love is ... (Insert various lenghty speech that C ignored)

C : So 'love' is 'hate' I get it.

Tina : No... C... You're doing this on purpose aren't you?

C : Why would I? You just said yourself in short you love to hate and hate to love.

Tina : You... Ah well, let's forget it. There is noone you would consider a soulmate is it?

C : Not like I want one to be honest.

Tina : Why? And don't talk nonsense about being a loner. That's just not how humans work...

C *points at her head* : Khm... I am 'THE' perfect example of a human being, right?

Tina : But... there should be someone who would love to get in a closer relationship with you.

C : There's noone like that. Besides... ah, forget it.

Tina : C. You're giving up before even starting?! That's not the stubborn schemer I know.

C : You don't know anything.

Tina : But... there should be someone who would love to get in a closer relationship with you.

C : There's noone like that. Besides... ah, forget it.

Tina : C. You're giving up before even starting?! That's not the stubborn schemer I know.

C : You don't know anything.

Tina : Then tell me everything.

C : 750.000.000.000 Fc.

Tina (o.O) : Ah... Uhm... I meant... about your preferences in love?

C : I don't have any as I said earlier.

Tina : Aw come on! You must have to have something you want. Please C, just for my sake?

C : ... You're not going to let me go until you get that out of me do you?

Tina : Exactly!

C : You're incorrigible.

Tina : Okay, I'm going to make this simple for you... I'm going to ask questions and you're going to asnwer, deal?

C : Whatever...

Tina : C, take this seriously!

C : Alright. Ask then.

Tina : Would you prefer your mate to be have a height same as you?

C : I think you missed a step before that.

Tina : OH?! What did I miss?

C : That my preferance would be male or female, no?

Tina : ... Ah... uhm... and that would be?

C : Male, naturally.

Tina *shouting in anger* : THEN WHY DID YOU BRING THAT UP?!

C : You said to tackle this in all seriousness, and that would be the first question then, no?

Hobby
Robert : C, do you have any hobbies?

C : I'm an information broker, knowledge is everything to me

Robert : Then you know about games and how to play them right?

C : You want to challenge me? Sure, but I'll warn you I am undefeated so far in anything I've started.

Robert : Then it's on! I challenge you to a game of Duel Masters then!

C : Never heard of it, I need to prepare for it first.

Robert : As long as you want to.

C : Then tomorrow here, at the same time and place.

Robert : So, C time's up. Prepare yourself to be defeated!

C : Not now... I'm still not finished making a deck.

Robert : Maybe I can help, what's the problem?

C : The rules don't allow me a 792 card Deck...

Robert : 7-- 792?! Of course they do not allow, only 40...

C : But why is that?! I need these cards... All of them...

Robert : C... can you show me the cards?

C : Sure, I have 790 different ones that I want to use. Here they are.

Robert *takes a look at the card arranges them into 3 decks with 40 cards each and hands them back*

C : Actually you could have make 7 different decks from that pile but this works also

Robert : ... C just pick one of them will you?!

C *pulls out a different deck* : Then I'll go with this one.

Robert : You actually had a 40 card deck?! Why did you go through with the trouble then?!

C : To check how knowledgeable you are. Simple as that.

Robert : C... you're a pain in the... ah let's get ready to rumble then.

C : I'm going to warn you once again, I've yet to lose at any game I started.

Robert : There is no such thing as a perfect record. At one time everyone is bound to lose.

C : You don't have to believe me then. It's your choice after all, yet that is the truth.

Robert : Oookay, well then let's swap and shuffle decks.

Robert and C exchange decks and begin to shuffle them.

Robert : C... You've... been shuffling the deck for an hour already. It's fine now.

C : It still requires 7.926 more to be perfectly randomized.

Robert : ... You...

C : Be patient, I'm don't want to mess up and restart it, okay?

C *Shuffling the deck, 3 hours passed roughly*

Robert *Yawns* : Are you done yet?

C : You've asked this 26 times already, I still require 4 minutes and 34 seconds.

Robert : Yes...

C : I'm finished, however you've only shuffled my deck 5 times, do that 11.000 times at least.

Robert : WHAT?!

C : Until you perform another 10.995 more shuffles I'm going to wait.

Robert : You're kidding me?! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!

C : I am dead serious.

Robert : ... That makes me think... How many games did you start so far?

C : 6.124, why? I am meticulous, but I complete each one of them.

Robert : ... Ungh... Okay, Then I'll start shuffling...

Work
C *looks at her ringing telephone and declines the call

C *looks at it again and finally blocks the caller

C *sees an unknown number and accepts the call

Unknown : DID YOU JUST BLO-- *Gets blocked by C again*

Jack : Didn't knew there would be something you say no to. Didn't you say you have a price for everything?

C : That idiot wouldn't be able to pay up, so it's fine.

Jack : ... Can I ask what did he request from you?

C : B-W-H.

Jack : So... who exactly was that guy who you rejected?

C : Lyrr... But he didn't really just stop there, he wanted to know something else too.

Jack : ... Should I dare to ask?

C : Then how much will it cost for you to *******, *******, ******......

Jack *Facepalms*

C : I told that pervert the price and he slammed the phone down.

Jack *Heavy sigh*

C : Would you like to know the price I've set?

Jack : No, forget it...

C : Aw, okay.

Jack : And why are you looking down now?

C : Because it would have cost you a couple hundred thousand Fc to get that info.

Jack : You never cease to think on credits, do you?!

C : Of course not, do you ever cease to breath until your eventual death?

Jack : Did you just compare breathing to your greed?!

C : It is not greed, it's merely self preservation.

Jack : Self preservation? How can that be an issue of self preservation?!

C : Money makes the world go round, ain't it? That is classified as self preservation then.

Jack : You're... Why do charge so much for your informations always?

C : Because they are 100% correct, and I do not provide false ones.

Jack : You can't always be correct, or provide only the truth always.

C : Up till now I managed to do it, and I will continue that in the future aswell.

Jack : ... What are you doing with your money anyways? I never see you spend it.

C : That is only for me to know.

Jack : So you do not tell lies, but hold secrets, eh?

C : What's your point?

Jack : Quite simple, if you withhold an information that would otherwise change the outcome, that's only half-truth.

C : But that's still not a lie.

Jack : We call that a White-lie.

C : If someone does misunderstood it, it's not my problem.

Jack : How so?

C : The information I reveal is gathered by me, however it's not only possible for me to gather.

Jack : So your saying, that for the price they pay you, the amount of information released is correct.

C : Exactly! If they can't pay me enough, then only the corresponding level of info is shared.

Jack : You're a greedy, evil, schemer.

C : I'm just me... Why are you always calling me that?

Taste
C : Uhm, what are those?

Canon : Cookies, I've just baked them, would you like to try?

C : Disgusting...

Canon (T~T): Huh?! B-but... Everyone LIKES my cookies!!

C : Really? How can anyone like such a tasteless thing.

Canon : It's not tasteless! Then tell me what do you prefer!

C : Something like Alisa's cooking, those are quite good if I have to say it.

Canon (O~o) : You ... Like her cooking?! B-but... Why?! HOW?!

C : What do you mean how? It has a great flavour.

Canon (0_0) : C... You... are weird.

C : Hey, it's not my problem that I'm unable to taste anything else...

Canon : Unable to taste? Is your infection the problem here?

C : Come to think of it maybe, so... What are the others reactions to your cooking?

Canon : Everyone likes them, that's why... I was surprised at your reaction

C : ... And Alisa's?

Canon (^^)" : Uhm... well... Normally they try to avoid her cooking, because it's dangerously bad.

C : Alisa is happy that I eat her cooking.

Canon : I... can actually understand that.

C : Of course she refused to taste mines.

Canon (O.o)" : You... can cook?!

C : What do you take me for? Of course I can cook.

Canon : Uhm... You're not going to be angry if I refuse to taste it?

C : Why should I? It had a horrible taste to admit it.

Canon (O_O) : You... tried to make Alisa eat something that even you considered to taste bad?

C : Even Alisa tries to make her food eat with anyone, what's with the problem?

Canon : B-but... If... I don't know how to explain.

C : I'm not going to get mad, just say that I am unable to cook. I'm not going to get angry.

Canon : If you can't cook, why do you do it then?

C : Practice makes perfect, does it not?

Canon : That is true, however... if you can't feel the flavour how do you know it's bad?

C : Because it is?

Canon : Can I see the recipe that was used?

C *after getting to her room, she hands over a recipe* : There you go, I followed this perfectly and it turned out miserably.

Canon *writes her own at the back of the recipe* : Can you cook this in front of me?

C : Sure? I can, why?

Canon : I'm curious.

C : I will then, but first tell me your reason.

Canon : You called my cookies disgusting, and your owns horrible.

C : What are you implying Canon?

Canon : You might be a good cook... Only your sense of taste is... misleading you, I think.

C : Maybe? I think it's a complete failure, but... let's make something simple then.

Canon : I'm going to observe the procedure and let you work, okay?

C *makes a few cookies based on Canon's recipe while she is watching in... awe*

Canon *looks at the deformed lumps of charcoal* : ... Are... C, are you sure... that you followed everything to the letter?

Upcoming Shorts
Children, Allies, Pet, Enemies, Infection, Sleep, Operator, God Eater, Aragami