No one on facebook will care, because they'll either call me an attention whore or pat me on the back with blind reassurance, and no one on imgur will care, because they're full of the exact kind of people, or those who worship said people, I take issue with.
I harbor a deep, deep resentment for people like internet models or famous youtubers like PDP or Markiplier. It's a deep, burning resentment that stems from the fact that, no matter how much I make a name for myself as a composer, I'll never be as well-known as people who just show their tits and get the internet all up in a tizzy, or people who just scream at video games and get money for it. In an age where all you have to do is show and tell people what they want to see and hear in order for people to acknowledge you, what's the point in making the effort to put out content of actual quality?
In the past, I've tried to tell myself that I don't care about fame, that I'd be satisfied with people hearing and enjoying my music. But I've long since been forced to come to terms with the fact that that's simply not true. I can't be contented with that, because then what's the point if I'm not getting recognized for it? As far as the mass market audience is concerned, or as far as ANY audience to which I'm putting out my music, I could be anyone. They don't care who scores their favorite movie, or video game, or what have you. They simply don't care. As long as their short attention spans are satisfied, it doesn't matter one lick.
And that's where this deep resentment comes from. I can't STAND people who get that level of recognition with little to no effort. I know the world isn't fair, but it just isn't fucking fair. I shouldn't have to pour my blood, sweat, and tears into my work, consigning myself to a life of little to no pay while someone else flashes their tits or says something funny and rakes in more money in a year than I'll ever see in my fucking life.
I've had it. I can't stand what modern society has become. There's this pervasive culture of consumerism, where people just don't give two fucks about how they're satisfied as long as they're satisfied. Ask ten Final Fantasy fans about their opinions on the soundtracks and nine of them won't be able to tell you a damn thing about Uematsu, or Sakimoto, or Hamauzu. All you'll hear is "oh, yeah, Final Fantasy games have good soundtracks." Because NO ONE CARES! That anime you just watched that had really nice music? No one's going to make the extra effort to look up who scored it. Because NO ONE FUCKING CARES!
But if someone provides the average internet consumer with an easy source of entertainment or wank material that they don't have to exert a lick of effort to enjoy? Then they've got it fucking made. That's all they have to do! Pewdiepie makes millions by screaming at horror games, recycling tired, unfunny "humor," and generally being an altogether shitty person. Sakimichan makes $650k PER YEAR drawing fanart. FANART! From people just giving her money! People give her money to do this, because visual art is an inherently more lucrative career! You don't have to make any effort to look at a piece of art and say "Oh, yeah, that's good." But do you know the average listening time on my compositions and arrangements I've uploaded to YT? FORTY FUCKING SECONDS. People don't want to put time and effort into listening to music when they could instead be shoving more money down the throats of Sakimichan and Pewdiepie or jacking off to the latest internet "model" who decides she's remotely attractive and is willing to whore herself out.
I'm sorry for all the vitriol but this is just the result of months of pent-up rage, jealousy, and all-around hatred towards people who can be more successful than I will ever be without even so much as lifting a finger and a half.
It's just not fucking fair.